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afdhioe7aH: 爆笑男女 - 囧爆男人的女友、女汉子

1、前女友打电话来:“说话方便吗?”我看了一眼旁边的女友说:“哦,还没吃呢。。”对方又说:“那我等你方便了,再打过来。”我笑了笑:“做好饭也得八点了!”挂掉电话后现女友问我谁的电话,我说:“我前女友的!”她瞪了我一眼:“讨厌,又逗我,肯定是你妈!”

2、我满脸堆笑,变戏法似的从背后掏一大束玫瑰:“当当当当!鲜花送美女!”女神皱了皱眉,往后倒了两步。。。我赶紧把花拿开问:“对鲜花过敏吗?”“不是,对牛粪过敏。”

3、下午去某小区送快递,楼下门铃处一个男的拎着一大堆东西按门铃,男:“是我,开门。”女:“请说口令!”男:“别闹了,快开门。”女:“口令错误,请重说,”男:“快点开门,我拎着一堆东西呢!”女:“口令错误,请重说。”男:“我是傻B。”“咔”门就开了。。。

4、一汉子级姐们儿问我:“有个成语是怎么说的来着?就那个螳螂啊、蝉啊什么的3P的那个。”“什么乱七八糟的螳螂、蝉3P啊?”我一头雾水的表示没理解。另外一姐们儿很淡定的推了推眼镜,随口答道:“螳螂捕蝉黄雀在后吧……”我擦,你们这群没节操死娘们儿。。。

Samstag, 28. Mai 2016

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